The Power of Attitude: 3. The power of intention

The power of intention and the art of making controlled, productive decisions

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Clarity can be found when we have set our intention to be crystal clear and focused before

entering into a situation, knowing: what we want, what kind of results we expect, how we will

measure its outcome, why we are doing it (i.e. a clear intention), and the corresponding

steps we need to take.

Once we are clear of what we want and what to do, we can isolate the purely emotional

responses and make more controlled, productive decisions.

Our #attitude towards life affects how we respond, and two of the biggest enemies we have

are the fear of change, and the unwillingness to let go (of expectations or control) - in other

words, people fear not having things go their way.

Problem 1: Impermanence and our fear of change

The fear of change is like the fear of the unknown. It is only human to like things to be

predictable, but this only gives us a false sense of security. Why is it a false sense of

security? Because everything in the world changes - nothing is permanent. Life is a

continuous flux of motions and changes.

The good news is that although we cannot control the dynamic of change, we can have the option to be adaptive to it, and even manoeuvre with it.

If you can accept that we live in a constantly changing world, state, and moment, and even

welcome that possibility, then you can have more dynamic agency and maybe even control

how things change. Nothing lasts forever, so everything is only temporary. As the saying goes, “Change is the only constant”.

To appreciate life better, we would be better off learning to let go of an attachment to

permanence and accept that life is a journey of different experiences which can spice up our

lives, and that it is possible to face challenges and hardship as a natural part of that journey.

We move with the currents, welcoming the change of new waters. We understand that each

moment that presents a change can be an opportunity for betterment, or can worsen our

situation, but it is our embracing of change that allows us to better control where our fortunes

lie on its spectrum. We cannot always guarantee a perfect outcome, but we can take fuller

advantage of the good whilst minimising the effects of the bad.

Problem 2: Attachment to complete control and feelings of entitlement

Worse still, self-hatred, guilt and remorse may even kick in. We can sometimes fall into the

fallacy that our self-worth equates to having everything according to how we would like it to

be, what we own, or what recognition we get.

This downward spiral can result in the terrifying belief that we are not good enough if we do

not get what we want. In addition, we get upset by the (false) belief that our lives would be

better if we had total control over it.

We like things going our way and can trick ourselves into thinking that life is linear and can

be controlled simply. Sometimes we may operate under the mistaken belief that it’s possible

or desirable to avoid challenges. The naked reality is that few in this world get everything

they want, and nobody can have everything, or have complete control over everything.

So, what is the cause of such unhappiness when things don’t go our way? What is the true

culprit - not getting those “things”, or our ego?

Bruce Lee once once said, “Be [like] water”: “Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

The different states of water (such as liquid water, gaseous vapour, and solid ice), reminds

us of the beauty and power of being flexible and versatile in light of different situations or

challenges. The versatility of water makes it practically indestructible. This is an essence of

the Taoist concept of Wu Wei.

Solutions: Detachment, letting go of one’s ego; Wu Wei - the law of nothingness

1. Wu Wei, the art of allowing and minimal effort

In the eyes of Tao, there are times for different actions. This is the art to allow, accept and

be flexible to move with the flow, aligning our actions with the greater flow of life. When we

are in the flow, we are able to move with the energy of the moment and respond freely to

whatever situation arises. This requires an ability to be aware and acknowledge unfolding

events without being controlled by them. This allows you to maintain clarity to decide on a

healthy reaction.

Wu Wei does not involve excessive efforts or struggle. However, neither is it truly passive.

Think of it more as being consciously active in a deliberate and measured way. Through

focused intent or absolute letting go (or a combination of both), we enter a state of

connectedness to what we are doing, and our actions become simultaneously highly

productive and expressed effortlessly.

At times, it is true that it is about doing nothing at all. If no action is needed based on the

laws of nature, then doing anything if at all may in fact be “over-doing”. Sometimes, you just

have to have faith that you have done what is needed to the best of your abilities, and you

have to have the confidence and hope to let things develop on their own.

Take the example of growing a plant – the plant needs sufficient sun, water and nutrients

from the soil. If it is exposed to excess sunlight, water or fertiliser, the growth will be affected

adversely and the plant may die. The key is to be patient and confident that the nurturing of

the plant is sufficient, without overdoing things out of fear and/or impatience.

2. Go with the flow vs. go against the flow

While we should work towards what we want, we should also accept that there can never be

an absolute guarantee of complete success. But, it is equally true that if we don’t work

towards what we want, we are guaranteed never to obtain what we desire.

A plant that has its physical environment controlled to perfection may nevertheless be struck

by disease, infested with parasites, or eaten by a wandering herbivore. But that same plant

has no chance of optimal growth without an optimal physical environment to begin with.

In the end, life may become easier when you adapt to what you cannot change. This is

called going with the flow, or the power of surrender. This isn’t the same as giving up though.

It just entails being flexible and smart in maneuvering around obstacles and making the most

of your available resources. Being in the flow is working in sync with the events happening around you, even those that you may have no control over. Essentially, the more adaptable you are, the more power you have over potential outcomes, and the better you will feel about how life works out.

On the other hand, some people like to keep themselves busy by running around,

overloading themselves with things to do. This makes them feel secure, since they can tell

themselves they are being useful or productive. But, being busy for the sake of being busy is rarely meaningful, or good for your mental health! And it is certainly not the same as going with the flow. Instead, going with the flow requires being mindful of where you want to be, how you’re going to get there, and what you’re going to do when things don’t go as expected.

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