Tuning In to Your Unique Self: 1. Learn the benefits of grounding

The power of now and not letting your ‘monkey brain’ take control

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Monkey brain

Let’s try an exercise:

Sit still.

Now, try to clear your mind and not think of anything.

Do it for as long as you can.

Can you try to do it for 3 minutes?

As any thoughts flit through your brain, observe them and how they make you feel, but let them go freely. Try not to catch a thought or let it dominate your mindfulness or interrupt your present state of calm.

Your monkey brain is the part of your mind that operates by default without conscious effort on your part. It can often manifest as all sorts of inner monologue, judgments or wild ideas that run through your mind. These thoughts can often rile up your emotions and affect you without you realising it.

We are the culmination of our values, experiences, attitudes, perspectives, and expectations (both internal and external). Many of these influences can be conscious choices, but many are subconscious, ingrained from our upbringing, or imposed by social norms or culture.

All of these can mask our true selves, and makes it easy for our monkey brains to take control without giving space for our real selves to manifest.

The power of now

The power of now is to cultivate a crystal clear awareness of who you are and where you are at in this moment, without letting your mind be hung up on the past nor be distracted about where you may be in the future. Embracing the ‘now’, rather than the ‘was’ or ‘will be’, sets a more grounded stage for you to define a healthy relationship with yourself.

Build a relationship with yourself

It’s crucial to build a relationship with yourself so you have a better sense of who you are, your needs and desires, and your aspirations. Doing so requires peeling away the influences of social pressure and self-limiting boundaries or beliefs that arise from the expectation of yourself, or others, which may include those from culture, friends, or family. Often, what you think you ought to do can be worlds apart from what you should do (for yourself) or what you really want to do.

Being grounded is one of the ways to help you discard the various expectations and imposition that don’t serve you. It results in greater awareness and clarity of your own self.

Being grounded also helps anchor you so as to help you more realistically examine your own expectations without either dreaming or worrying too much. This is a plus!

Physiologically, grounding helps you to calm down and let go of anxieties, which can promote greater health and wellbeing by better managing and conserving your emotional energies.

Key principles to build a relationship with oneself:

a. Grounding & Mindfulness & Awareness

b. Self awareness + Self acceptance = Self compassion

Grounding

Grounding is about being present in the here and now. People often cling to the past or regrets... or get carried away fantasising a different future.

Grounding is about being present in the here and now. Living in the past robs you of you focus on the present. Living in the future blinds you to the present. Grounding is about being present in the here and now.

Mindfulness is about anchoring your attention to the here and now. It gives you a relaxed and solid foundation in the present moment, as sturdy and grounded as a mighty tree, giving you both strength and presence.

1. Grounding your attention to be mindful and foster awareness

Close your eyes for a few seconds and focus on breathing

Open awareness is simply about fostering awareness and letting go of any judgment and labelling. Judgment is the conditioned functioning of our mind that reflects our beliefs, but not necessarily reality.

Judgment limits us. The moment we judge, we only project our own perspective instead of considering other aspects of the person or the situation. Being mindfully aware of your own perspective without fixating on judgments helps you to be more conscious of reality. It frees you to be more open to possibilities and opportunities.

Judgment often only zeroes in on one side of the given situation. It can often be a kind of black and white labelling involving duality or polarity: good or bad, right or wrong, should or should not.

Judgment can be counterproductive if we lose awareness of being mindful and recognising our own thoughts. Being non-judgmental keeps our minds and hearts open to creating many other options and possibilities.

● Practice awareness of judgments

Note the presence or emergence of judgments (but don’t react to them) and then return to your breathing – your objective is to practice being non judgmental. Breathing should be the anchor point of your attention. It grounds you in the present. It helps you focus on facts, not fantasies.

If you have a judgment, ask yourself: What do I really see: the true person/feeling or just my own personal judgment at that point in time? Learn to separate fact from fiction. By stepping back and practicing awareness of your judgments, you create room for growth and a better ability to observe your own thoughts.

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